Retirement gift ideas that get a laugh at the party
A retirement party calls for a gift that gets a laugh when it's opened and gets worn the following Monday, the first one without an alarm. Here are shirts for the retirement itself and for the hobbies that fill the time afterward.
For the big day
Retired 2026: Officially Off the Clock has a sleepy alarm clock whose face just says WHENEVER. It's a good group gift from coworkers, and there's a 2027 version for anyone retiring next year.
See the Retired 2026: Off the Clock shirt ($24.99)For next year's retirees
Retiring in 2027? The countdown version works for the last months on the job, or as a gift to open at the party next year.
See the Retired 2027: Off the Clock shirt ($24.99)For the new pickleball regular
Plenty of retirees find pickleball and never look back. This one says what they already know: cheaper than therapy, rougher on the knees.
See the Pickleball: Cheaper Than Therapy shirt ($24.99)For the golfer
More time means more golf. Fore! Sorry in Advance is for the golfer whose shots go a little bit everywhere.
See the Fore! Sorry in Advance shirt ($24.99)For the gardener
Garden Hours, Monday to Sunday, sunrise till supper: the new schedule of someone who finally has all day to spend in the yard.
See the Garden Hours shirt ($24.99)For the fisherman
Retirement is when the fishing stories really start to grow. Fish Tales Told Here, sizes may vary.
See the Fish Tales Told Here shirt ($24.99)Before you order
If you're collecting money for a group gift, a shirt plus a card signed by everyone goes a long way. Shirts are printed to order, so allow about two weeks before the party.